just sit back and twiddle

buh-less my lack of commitment to this blog.

I got to missing Aussie here recently which led me to return here and review some of my posts from back in the summer. obviously I failed to post the conclusion of our journey, our exhibition in downtown Mildura and all of that, but by the time I would have posted it I was already home and able to tell whomever cared enough to look it up on this blog all about it in person. so that was that.

I suppose the biggest update that I should mention over the last six (six!?) months is the fact that I AM AN AUBURN ALUM. not only is graduating college a milestone in and of itself, but having something as tangible and practical as a degree from a place that had already managed to give me so much over the 4 and a half years prior to graduation is indescribably rewarding, and I'm thrilled to go forth proclaiming "War Eagle" to all. :)

ah, yes. the "go forth" part. what's next? as of now I'm still in Auburn, working part time while I wait to receive word from the seven graduate schools I applied to for genetic counseling. this waiting is so frustrating because I feel like I have been in almost the exact same situation for over a year and a half, ever since I decided genetic counseling was the career for me and began taking steps to prepare to apply for school. people that I only check in with every few months have gotten the same thing over and over: "I'm waiting to apply to graduate school." "I'm waiting to graduate." "I'm waiting to hear back about interviews at places I've applied." "I'm waiting for my interview." (I've managed to get at least one so far, by the way. PTL) And in a few weeks it will be, "I'm waiting to hear back from my interview(s)."

this is a lot of waiting, a lot of me feeling like my whole life is on pause while I wait to find out which of seven different states I will be residing in come fall. or maybe none of the above, if I'm not accepted anywhere. a terrifying but real possibility. this is definitely something I've had to lay at the Lord's feet and trust His will for--not that I shouldn't be doing this for other areas of my life, but there is just so much of this that is completely out of my control at this point that I'm having to replace my tendency to want to micromanage my own life with a peaceful trust in His plan for my next step. I'm impatient and want to know, like, yesterday my whole life plan for the next 50 years. but His timing is perfect, and I can't sit here and act like I don't know this, because that timing has come through for me time and time again in past situations of doubt and decision-making.

I know I should be making this time meaningful, but it's so difficult to keep myself motivated for the day-to-day when pretty much everything in my life right now is very temporary. with most of my friends now out of Auburn, I feel like I have a lot of time alone with my thoughts, which has its pros and cons but I hope that I'm managing to grow from that. I've continued my volunteer work at Unity Wellness Center as well as started as a client advocate at Women's Hope Medical Clinic and that has really been a blessing to me. I love both of those places so much and each of them have encouraged me to grow, in different ways, to a point that I could write an entire post on them alone but for now it is suffice to say that my time spent at each place is the highlight of my week.

I know a lot of my friends are in similar situations right now: waiting for job/internship offers, waiting for school acceptances, waiting for their relationships to take the next step, etc. and my prayer for all of us is that we first and foremost trust in His timing, but secondly that we don't give into the temptation to just sit back and twiddle our thumbs as we wait. just as there is a purpose for us to be in these as-of-yet-unknown places at a specific point in the future, there is a purpose for us to be right where we are...right now.