absolutely inspiring

so you may know, or you may not know, that I have a healthy interest in my own family history, genealogy and all of that. last year I was looking through one of the family Bibles and found an envelope containing a typed account of an older relative's childhood, that was told to his descendants via tape recording when he was quite old, and someone took the time to type it up based off of that account. I kind of thought that was awesome, so I decided to hold a similar type interview with my own 86 year old grandmother, Elnora DeBardelaben "Kit" Kelley, my last living grandparent and who is still very, very sharp (good genes, #winning). I told her I was coming home this past weekend and what I wanted to do. I did get some recorded bits of convo that I'll type up for my own records later, but by the time I got to her house she, in her typical organized/over-prepared fashion (I didn't get those genes I guess?), had already written up an account of one of my favorite stories, how she and my grandfather, Earl William "Bill" Kelley Jr. met (in Auburn!). What follows is pretty much her exact words as written out on paper; I only added a few things in brackets for clarity esp. re: dates.

In the summer of 1941 I visited my sister in Auburn. She was employed as a comptometer operator by Alabama Agricultural Association (Triple A), a US government agency. I liked everything about her lifestyle and working at a job I could learn to do. When my visit was over, I enrolled in a comptometer school in downtown Birmingham. I finished the course and in September I returned to Ensley High School to [then] complete my high school education in January 1942. That same week [that I graduated], I had a call from the comptometer school telling me I was needed in Auburn to work at the same office at which my sister had worked. I was ready and anxious to begin my career with Triple A. Mother and Daddy drove me down and a dormitory for working women had a vacancy (Wittel Dorm). It was a mile from the office where I would work. We met my roommate, unpacked, and my life in Auburn had begun.

In September [1942] I had a call from my cousin Shelly DeBardelaben, who was a Theta Chi, asking if I would share my room with his girlfriend from home the following weekend. She would be coming down for the fraternity dance. I was glad to say I would welcome her. His gracious comment was, “If I can ever do anything for you let me know.” I quickly replied, “Hey – get me a date for the dance.” He said, “Sure thing.” On Wednesday he called to ask if I would like to have supper at the fraternity house on Thursday evening and meet my date, Jessie Twilly, for the dance. I was looking forward to celebrating my 18^th birthday on [that] Thursday [Sept. 17^th], so this made it a special time.

When he came for me and introduced me to his fraternity brothers, I was pleased the way things were happening. Jessie’s roommate was Bill Kelley and he and his regular girlfriend would double date with us. Things went well at the dance on September 17, 1942. After that I was Bill’s girl. During the Christmas break I was at home in Birmingham and he came for me from his home in Carbon Hill. I stayed overnight in Carbon Hill and when we returned to Auburn we had many good times together. In March we were at home for spring break and his mother gave him some money to buy a ring for me. On our way back to Auburn we shopped in downtown Birmingham at Bromberg’s for an engagement ring, [and] chose a wedding date: Easter Sunday, April 25, 1943.

Because Bill had had ROTC at API, he had to answer a call to the draft board. He was able to choose the US Navy upon graduation from Alabama Polytechnic Institute in August 1943. His preparation to serve in the US Navy was at school in Chicago. In January of 1944, I flew to Chicago for a weekend and Bill and I were together for the last time until the war was over. He served as a supplier officer on LST 700 in the Pacific. A Jap dive bomber hit his ship and several men were lost and the ship lost power and food supplies were low. When he could make contact that they needed food the response was “Tell the men to tighten their belts.” He never forgot that!!

When the war was over he had many offers of jobs as to his degree in Engineering, but an established family business in his home town was what he wanted and enjoyed for many years as he raised and sent 3 sons to Auburn University. His love for Auburn and football made him a good recruiter. Saturdays in the fall were times to renew friendships and show his colors.

A couple of things...

she met him on her birthday! 

I liked how she completely omitted how exactly she stole him from the other girl. which was absolutely inspiring.

they knew each other 7 months before they were married!? I guess when you know, you know.

simply not worried

 ⁸ “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord.
      “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.
 ⁹ For just as the heavens are higher than the earth,
      so my ways are higher than your ways
      and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.
Isaiah 55: 8-9  (NLT)


there is no greater comfort to me than knowing that my life has a very specific intent and purpose. to some, this is a scary or intimidating thing to think about; either they feel they aren't living up to it or they think they somehow don't have control over their own destiny. which is ironic, because to me those two would-be fears are completely interrelated. yes, for each of us God has a plan, and to me, that plan is our destiny. as human beings we have the power of free will, to choose to accept this destiny or to choose against it...and to choose to accept it is to live up to what is expected of us.

I love, love, love to look back on my life and all of the different people I've met and experiences I've had and realize that they all weaved themselves into a plan that, at the time, I did not even know was in the works. events that once seemed insignificant have, in retrospect, acquired a great deal of importance. the reverse is also true. things I once thought were such a huge deal have been all but forgotten. so maybe after knowing that, it makes more sense that it does not scare me one bit to know that my life after December 2012 (and even parts of it between now and then) is one big question mark. I'm simply not worried about it. I have an idea of what I would like to be doing, but we all know that you can't always get what you want (and many times it works out much better when you don't). so in the meantime I just work hard at doing what I have the privilege to be doing now, learning about life and friends and love and a little molecular biology (just enough to earn a degree), and know that everyone I meet and everywhere I go may end up being a life-changing experience...even if I don't realize it until much later.

wish I had written this myself: www.allatsea.co.za/froglunch/people.htm

no specifics

what is a memory?

I think about this a lot, because out of all the books I have read and people I have talked to, it seems that everyone has his or her own idea of what a memory should consist of. when some people remember, they think of a sight, a sound, a smell, a taste. others remember a strong emotion. still others don't really remember at all, they just know the event happened. I know I personally use a combination of these. sometimes I can remember everything about a particular moment: what I was wearing, what I said, what others said, what the room smelled like. other times I just remember feeling "so" happy/sad/scared/relieved. but a period of time soon before or after these vivid memories? nada. I just know it happened because I know it led me to whichever clearer memory I can recall that came next.

I wonder what it would be like to have total recall, where literally every thing that has ever entered my brain could be brought forth again in an instant. for one thing, if my head didn't literally explode first, my grades would be much, much better. I wonder sometimes what would happen if I were called in to answer questions in a criminal investigation... "where were you on the evening of such and such?" if it didn't happen within the last couple of weeks or so I'm not sure I could tell anyone with any certainty. that's kinda scary. I could pull out a calendar and point to particular dates where I know exactly where I was and what I was doing ("vivid" memories) but as for everything else it could have been anywhere. yikes.

for me though, what stands out about keeping track of memories is very broad. I look at periods of my life--a certain weekend, month, semester, year, whatever--as having certain overall feelings attached to them. like last spring, for example, probably the busiest, craziest semester of my life. I know I had at least one near nervous breakdown because I remember sitting about where I'm sitting now, running on very little sleep and thinking school was absolutely going to kill me. it was sometime in April and I was upset about a grade I had just gotten back and I had a paper due in two hours or something ridiculous. that's all I really remember about that. I'm trying very hard to remember other bad things that happened. my mom was in a car accident and I remember that pretty clearly because it was so scary. I have a few deliriously happy/wonderful memories too, that are very specific. but all of the in between is a blur, and it is out of that blur that the overall feeling for the semester is gleaned, an average of all the various emotions I spent my time feeling then: blissful chaos. last spring was filled with so many many good times while being incredibly, overwhelmingly busy. furthermore, what came out of that semester affects my memory of it. example, CWE training was a royal pain sometimes, but knowing that the best summer of my life came from it makes the whole experience seem somehow better, looking back.

a wish of mine after I die is to view a movie of my life, start to finish, to relive the best times, be reminded of what I learned from the worst, and to really remember all those specifics in that blur. what fun times am I missing, by not remembering? what terrible feelings am I being protected from by not really remembering that I felt them? maybe it doesn't matter. because maybe a person's life is not meant to be a string of memories, but rather, a series of experiences, one flowing into another, a particular experience not achieving its full worth until the story is complete and they all fit together. no specifics, just the knowledge of what your life--your whole life--meant to you and to all those around you.